I’ve never felt, well, you know, refined. In fact, I highly doubt I could make it past the appetizer round in a meal with the Queen. Honestly, I’d probably get a piece of hair caught in my mouth during our introduction. And immediately follow that by christening her with the anomaly I affectionately refer to as my “Tooth Fountain.” (Just pair a prominent front tooth gap with nervous salvia glands and you’ll discover the struggle is real.)
Honestly, I’m quite comfortable that in realm of refinement, I’m a Monet. You look at me through
far, far away digital glass, and you might be deceived into thinking I’m this glorious meadow of painted oils and brushed blooms. (That’s the reason I’m self-watering.)
The truth is that when you pull me in close, you’ll see all the crazy blops of paint that just don’t line up. All those nonsense brush strokes are diminished by the beauty of good filters and Photoshop.
In fact, go even deeper into my day-to-day and you’ll get acquainted with my modge-podged, crazy-socked head-space that makes me a part of a unique “short yellow pencil” sisterhood.
I’m one of the many on this round planet who daily face the challenge of keeping life in focus while battling a bunch of brain chemicals that don’t like
to play nice.
In fact, sometimes my thoughts move so fast it’s hard to tie them down. And I get depressed or anxiety-
ridden when I can’t keep up. But I realize that it’s not good or bad, it’s just the real vulnerability painted into the Monet of this soul. And in this, God’s given me a beautiful truth to share.
If I can do anything with my life-print, it’s to give the world a greater understanding of what the face of
mental illness looks like...and it looks a lot like me...
... A creative heart who wants to love her Jesus.
... A pre-menopausal child in plus-sized clothes.
... A painted squirrel on espresso who likes to
share her nuts.
... A writer that uses excessive unnecessary ellipses.
... A barefacedgirl billboarding the “whatsoever
things are good” of this real life to showcase the
greater goodness of her Creator.
It’s not all easy. It’s not all happy. It’s not all fair. Pretty often it’s spit-shined and hardly manicured.
But I’m assured in the knowledge that even the dark and scribbled frizz serves to pull the beauty from this
canvas—this barefacedgirl.
I would like you to push pause at this moment to speak this over your heart, aloud—“My God You love me. I’m your original masterpiece which you keep proudly on display. Even during my biggest fails you cheer me on. Thank you for shaping every facet of my humanity and using it to shine Your light. Help me seek to be faithful to the real (INSERT NAME HERE) that you’ve created me to be.”
I’m so excited for you to read this issue of Leading Hearts. Here you’ll meet more #REALCHURCHLADIES just like you and me—one sisterhood, united in God purpose, to keep it real for His Glory. I’m praying you’ll be blessed.